hey dude bros, dont you hate when an automatic door prevents you from holding the door open for pretty girl and ruins your chances of sex with her. friendzoned again!
i hate hanging out with my friends because all we do is spend money!!! on food mostly. and then i feel poor and fat when i go home. i hate my friends
a chemist walks into a restaurant and says “i would like a plate of sodium acetate because that looks like NaC2H3O2 which looks like nacho lol.” the waiter says get the fuck out of my restaurant you god damned geek